Trying to find a relationship is NOT like wanting to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather… it more like the screaming and yelling of the passengers in his car !!!
These are things I joke about on stage, however I have come to realize that maybe there is something truthful about this or maybe Im missing something.
Recently I got the courage up to ask a very beautiful, talented, remarkable person out on a date, to which she said YES! I was very excited, I made the reservation at the restaurant, I reserved a table for a couple drinks at a great local tavern, and then I got a VIP table with bottle service at a club so we could go dancing and enjoy the rest of the evening. The day before the date I get a text saying, "I don't think Im ready to date, I don't feel like Im not allowed to have fun yet. Im sorry I am glad you asked however I don't think I should go".
This really caused me to spiral a bit, I went to a lot of trouble to make sure we would have a great time, I wasn't looking for anything sexual to come from this I wanted to go have a great time with someone that I wanted to get to know. I wanted to see if there was an attraction there, and make it a memorable experience for her. My goal was to treat her to maybe something she wasn't used to, or let her see a side of dating that someone might not have shown her. Instead it cost me some $$, a favor I asked for at the club, and a disappointment that maybe I wasn't good enough for her to go out with.
This might seem like a self pity thing, I did go drinking after to ease some pain & my BF told me this is all her not me, however one cannot help feeling some self doubt. It takes a lot of courage to ask someone out, it would have been easier for her to say right then "Im sorry Im not ready" instead of agreeing and then saying that the day before when all the prep & planning was already made.
So my advise to all guys - Don't stop asking women out, however maybe make the plans the day before or make sure that the commitment is true.
To women - If you say yes, then don't flake out on it, go have fun and at least get to know the guy, he did ask and you did say yes, besides you never know you might actually have fun!!